so i have updated in months which is horrible and i should really work on that

so me and john are still together its been over ten months. i really think that we are gunna make it forever but thats dumb haha i guess. haha i really love him thou with all my heart and he loves me too. we've been doing great we dont really ever fight just agruee sometimes but not often. things are good

so me and autumn are talking more now i kinda gave up fighting it, it was just so much effort haha. so yeah. i dont know who my best friends are now adays. i cant really talk to kelsey now thats she's dating scotty no one really likes that they are dating but whatever. john my best friend thou fosho and me and the twins are still good so thats good.

grades and everything are good. i cant really stand my church anymore its just so annoying but i wont have to deal with it much longer hopefully :) that would be nice. im ready for this school year to be over already. but its only like two more months. oh and i got a job at wendys yay me my life is good :) well thats all

~hanna

so its been what a month?
so lets recap. things with me and john are good.
me and ryan got into it alittle but we had a talk.
katie told my parents about her issues.
and well lifes amazing that way.

so what can i say. i feel like i had a total change in myself for the better. i think i lost myself a little in trying to be more comfortable with me. i wanted to be a plain jane and realized that wasnt me and i wanna be more dressy its fun. i liked how i dressed last year it made me happy and im okay now. but along with this change i had a bigger and better change. it was with someone who could potentially be a great friend to me:) i decided to change everything between me and ryan ( johns sister) i felt like i needed to be there for her and something had to change. so i wrote her a note today telling her what has been on my mind for the last couple of days . and i think it helped she wrote me a note back and it was probably one of the best notes ive ever gotten. i like her as a friend. i can tell already i just had to open my mind too it and im glad i did. im glad shes letting me in cause i do admire so much about her and it makes me sad to know she doesnt see that in herself. im gunna show her that shes important to me becasue i just dont think anyone has ever done that for her and i know how important that is. i wanna be the best friend shes ever had. i think we could both use that.

in all my thinking i decided not to tell john about the note passing we've been doing today and possibly tomorrow because he doesnt need to get involved he didnt make me do it , i did it by myself for myself and i want this to be just a me and ryan thing it will mean more in the end that way and i like it more that way too :)

i hope i get a reply to the note i wrote her at the end of the day. i look forward to be being friends and working this all. its all so new to be and exciting and im ready :)

mmm. i love john so much he is just so nice to me i cant even believe it. hes the best thing to ever happen to me seriously. but yeah nothing really has happened. we said good bye to karitas today and then i hung out with torri yesterday it was awesome haha i loved it but yeah thats about it really im really hot right now ahhh so yea
bye. i love you.
hanna.